After my legal name change I started getting tattoos.

After my legal name change to Leonard George Durdle Reynen, I started getting tattoos.

(Note: After I was born again in 2019, I had the desire to change my name back to Steven Leonard Anthony Reynen, and I ended up doing just that. I also wanted to get rid of my tattoos. I deliberated for years about blacking them out, or 'lasering' them off, or various other means.)

Leonard was one of my middle names. It was also the name of my grandfather, Leonard Durdle (my poppy).

I would tell people I wanted to honour my late uncle George Durdle (who was found hanging from a tree while in a psychiatric prison) and my poppy.
My uncle George told my mom (Rhona) not to name any of her children after him, for fear they would inherent his curse: one of the reasons Rhona provided when she protested my legal name change.

My first one was four characters G D T D, which stands for 'Good Day to Die'.

It was from one my biological father's (Gordon) fathers favourite characters from Star Trek: The Next Generation, Worf (son of Mogh). He is an alien species known as Klingons, who are a warrior race.

My next tattoo was on my back. It was a quote from art on a wall in the movie 'Oldboy', one of my favourite films at the time (originally from the poem Solitude by Ella Wheeler Wilcox):

"Laugh and the world laughs with you.
Weep and you weep alone."
The character Oh Dae-su from the movie Oldboy (while kidnapped and illegally imprisoned and isolated) staring at the quote above in his room.

This was the first tattoo to get blacked out: I will never be alone now. I am sealed with the Holy Spirit. I am united with Jesus Christ in spirit, and my Abba is literally everywhere. (See the hymn Father and Friend, Thy light, Thy Love).

The next was a large stylized Memento Mori on my left arm (here is a link to a wikipedia article), along with 1989 - TBD (To Be Determined). I went around telling people I subscribed to hedonistic mentality: may as well eat and drink and be merry since we are all going to die. I didn't exactly nail that one).

I got a large coloured tattoo of the comedian's badge from the 'The Watchmen' by Alan Moore with a blood drop. When I was suffering, and drunk or high, (but always on the pharmakeia), I would sometimes crack up and act in a similar fashion to the comedian: 'It's a joke, it's all a joke. Mother forgive me'.

I got a tattoo of grumpy bear on my right butt cheek: I would tell people it was my only 'novelty tattoo'. On the bears stomach I had the initials CH after my World of Warcraft guild (at the time) Cry Havoc. I thought it would motivate my guild mates to down the boss we were struggling with in Blackwing Layer.

Except instead of a cloud and hearts it had the letters CH.

I got a tree stump tattooed on my neck too (it was the third tattoo in three days, after the Memento Mori and the Comedian Badge). It has deep roots and new life coming out of the top with green leaves. I would tell people it meant my life was cut short by mental illness, but there was still new life in it.

Afterwards on my parents cottage property near Smiths Falls they would grow plants in tree stumps.

In two days I got all of my tattoos blacked out, save one (the tree stump on my neck). I was going to move out of my parents house soon, or go homeless if need be, and try and get a job driving a garbage truck (doing honest work with my hands where I could continue getting in shape and sing hymns).

Before I could black out the tree stump, Gordon called the police, and lied and said I was threatening him with a knife and held it at his neck.

I don't know that I will black this tattoo out in the future, I am seriously considering leaving it be.

Because now I see this tattoo differently.

It represents enduring, by God's grace, torture, abuse of various kinds and religious persecution, yet still being rooted in the love of Christ. Being a born again Christian.

Definitely not what it meant to me when I got it years ago. (They might have tried to 'stump' me).

I will pray about it and continue to reflect.

(Note: I will only tattoo 'fakechickensoup.farm' on my left arm if they are successful in forcing me back onto the pharmakeia. I have already designed it and purchased the domain. That way, no matter how bad they drug me, I will not be able to forget what has been done to me, nor what I must do.)

Praise. The. LORD! for saving and loving a wretch like me.

If my Abba can protect me, he can protect anyone.

If Christ Jesus can save and forgive me, he can save and forgive anyone.

If the Holy Spirit will dwell within me, he will dwell within anyone.

Hallelujah!

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jamie@example.com
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